Prologue To Our Story
I Got The Big, Nasty, Loud Immigration Guy: Part One of Three
I Got The Big, Nasty, Loud Immigration Guy: Part Two of Three
W15 booms, "Your appointment?"
Despite DA's fairly decent fluency in English, she has no idea what he has just asked. Mentally flailing wildly for a grip on the moment, she stands slack-jawed for three seconds, leans down and in to talk through blow-hole number two and asks, "Pardon?"
"Where's your appointment slip?"
Aha!! DA slides the "B 27" paper square through the divet at the bottom of the plexi-glass shield.
"What're you here for, today?"
Ignoring the implication that she's a Repeat Offender, DA slides her thin, carefully paper-clipped sheaf of documentation under the plexi-glass shield, squeaking, "I'm hoping you can help clarify my situation regarding my renewal application for a temporary employment authorization document card." [Yes, that's really what they call it: a "document card."]
"UH oh! Looks like somebody was DENIED her I-765! Let's see here..."
His stubby, nail-chewed finger the size of a Costco bratwurst traces line by line down the denial letter. Mutter, mutter, read, "... denied...," read, mutter, mutter, read, "... because the adjustment of status application has been approved." Dead stop. "Well, that's good news!"
Taking a deep breath, DA kow-tows respectfully towards the blow hole and says quietly, "Yes, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But it's been six weeks and we haven't heard anything at all about the approval, so my lawyer called and they told him the adjustment of status was still pending, but that I would have to come here to talk to an officer to figure out what happened with the I-765."
Further explanatory babble threatens to bubble forth, but some primitive survival instinct kicks in with a vigorous, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL IMMIGRANTS EVERYWHERE, SHUT UP!" So DA stands, like a mutton that is led to slaughter, and like an old goat that is silent before its shearers, so she does not open her mouth. For once.
"I'm going to look up what's going on with your adjustment of status. What's your Alien number?" Read, mutter, type, type, type, read. Screen, paperwork, screen, screen, paperwork.
"Wait a minute!" He turns and makes the first eye contact of the appointment. "There's been an error!"
Biting back the painfully obvious response of "No shit, Sherlock!" and seven years worth of quietly composting immigration angst just waiting to be released in a vitriolic spew, DA responds in calm, dulcet tones, "I'm so relieved you see it that way."
W15, eyes widening with the exertion, contemplates the situation for about four seconds. Then, "I'm gonna write an eMale! I'm gonna write a NASTY eMale!"
And with that, Big, Nasty, Loud Immigration Guy has switched teams and is now Big, Nasty, and Loud on DA's behalf. He's working the INS from the Inside, and he's bringing to the task all the energy that 300 pounds of institutional self-loathing can muster. As W15 hunts and pecks angrily on his industrial-strength keyboard, the will of God has, once again, become apparent.
Bang, bang, bang. "... however, this decision was made in error...." Bang, bang, bang. "... and so please advise what course of action is now open to the applicant since this was an erroneous decision...."
DA, now ironically nervous for a new reason, leans in to the blow hole with one light-hearted, "... Ha, ha! Just don't piss anyone off!" "I won't piss anyone off," and then with one final flurry of keyboard accostation, he concludes with, "Both I and the applicant thank you for your help," and we're done.
"Come back in one week. Or two weeks. Come to see me. At this window. I work Monday, Tuesday and Friday. And I will tell you what they said."
Squelching the need for clarification (well, is it one or two weeks? And how does one play Immigrant Bingo to guarantee a return to Wicket 15?), DA bows to the plexi-glass and says, "Bless you. And thank you. See you soon."
9:13 a.m. DA leaves the San Jose Immigration Field Office and heads home to change her pants.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I don't know yet where this will land. I went back a week later to visit W15 and he had encouraging news: "They're working on it. I'll send another email to see where they are in the process. Come back in two weeks."
Meanwhile, I'll do what I always do, and stay tooned.
No comments:
Post a Comment